So, I went off in search of how to remove Java. Oracle's website explains the process, but it's less user-friendly than I'd like.

If you really, really want to, you can uninstall Java entirely as well, though that’s not necessary. You can find the official instructions for how to do so on OS X here, on Windows Vista, 7 ...

The Java SE 6 runtime that has shipped with past versions of OS X and which has been available on-demand for Lion users is the last version that Apple will officially support in OS X, but this ...

But due to changes in the way Java works on Macs and the recent rise in Java-based security threats, I’m altering my advice: You should do everything you can to remove Java from your Mac or, if ...

Java used to be deeply embedded in OS X, but in recent versions of the OS it's an optional install. Here is how to check to see if it is installed, and how to disable or remove it.